Substance abuse started for me very young, at the age of 11. I was in 6th grade, fresh off to middle school. I was naïve, curious, and lonely. Some kids in my grade used alcohol, and I realized that by drinking, I would be automatically accepted by the people around me. My father passed away when I was very young, and this really affected me. I began feeling very different, and I would always try to fit in and morph into something that I wasn’t so other people would like me. I was a chameleon.

When I started to use, my “plan” was working, and I was surrounded by a bunch of "friends" who were older than me. I was instantly a different person. When 7th grade hit, I began to smoke marijuana, and I was “taken away” by all of my problems for a short period of time. I didn’t have to focus on anything. When I was in 8th grade, I began exploring more. I started to pop pills and take different cold medicines to get high. I was doing whatever I could to get drugs, money and anything that I wanted. At the end of 8th grade, in the summer, I used cocaine for the first time. In a very short period of time, I was using it full-time and blowing all of my money on it.

My life had hit bottom, and I felt like I would never get up from where I was. I was slowly killing myself. When I was 15 years old, I was sent to an adolescent residential treatment facility. I was court-mandated because someone else realized that I needed help when I couldn’t recognize it for myself. When I first got clean, I weighed between 85 and 90 lbs.

I am currently still in rehab, getting my life back together. I am now 16 years old and about to turn 17. I have been clean for 16 months and am now a lot healthier. My journey was tough. I was resistant and I wanted to continue the life that I was living because I thought it was comfortable. Over time, I have learned that I do not need to use to feel good about myself. A lot of my motivation for staying clean is that I do not want to be another statistic. I am looking at the glass half-full instead of half-empty.

In my future, I am looking forward to graduating high school. I made the honor roll last quarter for the first time in my school career. I know that I am a smart young man. I am aspiring to attend culinary art school next year. My recovery is an ongoing process, and I am living proof that nobody needs drugs to live. All you need is to believe in yourself, and you can live up to your fullest potential.

My name is Ryan, and I am a recovering drug addict. What is your story?