The moment of clarity came when my brother came to see me and I couldn't hide the fact that there were random people sleeping in my house. Somehow my son made it to school, and my baby was running around in a diaper. I said, "I am on drugs and I need help." From there, my life turned around. I voluntarily put my kids into foster care and went into a long-term drug treatment program.

There I found out I was HIV positve and had Hepatis C. I also realized that I wanted my life back, and nothing--not HIV, Hep, nor drugs--was going to stand in my way of having a great life! In early recovery I also found out that my oldest son was infected with HIV as well, and has since passed away from AIDS. I was devastated. At the same time, though, I became empowered by his courage. He was aware of exactly what was going on with him at all times throughout his battle with his disease. I had a counselor explain to Stephen, my son, what was wrong with him, and the counselor helped me to plan my Stephen's funeral and burial. My son knew Mom had made great changes in her life, and he was very proud of me.

I would not have been able to care for Stephen if I was not clean and sober. I Have been in recovery since November 6, 1991...Stephen's 7th birthday.

I now work in two different recovery programs, and I am a Nurse! I live recovery on a daily basis, and I believe in recovery. I know that I have an important message to convey: it's about saving lives at all costs. Today my life has meaning. Even on my worst day clean and sober, its still 100% better and more enjoyable then my best day using. Accept for the loss of my son, I would not change anything that I've gone through in my life. I really love the person I have become. I spent 15 and 1/2 months in a drug treatment program. It was hard work. Learning who I was--this shell of a person with no self esteem, finding out I had HIV, Hep C. and all of my other shortcomings. But Recovery is a GIFT!! I so wish to give the gift to all who need it.