Lorenzo S. of New York
Posted: August 13, 2009
Time in recovery: 3 years, 11 months
I came into recovery in 1986 making Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholic Anonymous meetings. I even had a little bit of therapy during my 24 year journey and process of recovery.
I learned that I could not stay stopped from using chemicals and for 20 of the 24 years. I stopped and started back, started back and stopped. I was a chronic relapser. I would stop going to meetings. Stop and go with my recovery, off and on, on and off. I found out that I always had a reservation in my mind to go back to using again. My hurt and pain ran deep and far.
When I see people like myself using obsessively/compulsively whatever the substance be food, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc., I know there is pain within that individual. I have come to know that I used various substances to kill the pain which I didn't even know was there.
I have 3 years and 11 months free from my main chemicals Cocaine and alcohol and 2 years 3 months away from nicotine (cigarettes). I used other chemicals besides these three in my years of using which numbers over 40 years. I was born with the disease of sickle cell anemia -in which as a young child from ages 4 to 12 - I was treated for the pain of sickle cell with morphine. I have come to understand through recovery and science that I may have had a pre-disposition early on to use when I started in my teen years.
I have no reservations in my mind today that rob me of the hope and will to succeed. I cherish being free from active addiction. I make meetings. I trained and completed 350 hours for the CASAC-T in February 2009, and I graduated from a Community College in August 2009 with an A.A. degree, something I had been trying to do under the influence of drugs and could never attain the success in doing so.
I'm seeking an internship to learn the basics in the field of Counseling. Today I am an asset to myself and others, and I want to help someone else who may be struggling with the disease of addiction. This is how I stay clean, by helping another person I help me too, which is a double reward.
My Higher Power has given me another chance at life, and I dont intend to abuse this chance as I have so many other times. I'm too blessed to go back to stress. For the new comers to recovery I say, "It's always too soon to Give Up", so keep at your recovery, and if you do that, sooner of later your recovery will get you. If you don't get it. That's how It happened for me. I kept coming, even though I kept falling down (relapsing) I'd get up and come back, and as a result I now have a new found freedom from active addiction.
I thank GOD, and all the many people who helped me along this 24 year recovery journey of mines. It took me 20 years to get a solid 4 years. I doesn't have to take you who are new to recovery that long. Get help, make meetings, get a sponsor. Get in/out patient treatment if you have to. Do whatever is needed to save your life which is worth while saving.
I hope I have helped someone with my message for that is my only intent and desire. Recovery Peace and Love!