I am working on staying clean by doing all sorts of different things mainly going to my groups at my program every day and sharing my true views and being honest at all times. Three months ago, I was at the end of my rope. I was willing to go too just about any lentgh to get one more blast, and one more bag of smack. My addiction when it gets to this point,usually leads me to the state penitentary. I maxed out on parole in 2007 from a 10-year sentence. In fact 3/10 year sentence's, running c...   read more »

As a child I was always praised in school as the most likely to succeed. Growing up was tough because I was sheltered in a family of abuse. Mom was a single parent and an active alcoholic. I, the caretaker, was the oldest sibling of two brothers and two sisters. Most often I felt guilty about not doing enough to keep mom sober. I naturally developed tough skin and handled life as it came. I "handled" all sorts of emotional, sexual, and physical abuse. For many years, I projected an exterior of...   read more »

On January 12, 2010 I was "Sick and tired of being sick and tired". I voluntarily enrolled myself in a three-day detoxification and then went to a rehabilitation facility for 27 days for help with my alcohol and crack cocaine addiction. After my stay I was receptive towards long-term rehabilitation. To overcome the challenges that I faced I attended narcotic anonymous meeting, complied with a plan of sobriety and was backed by my supportive family. For others going through recovery my advice...   read more »

On November 10, 2009, I WAS TIRED OF MY 35 YEAR LONG HEROIN USE. I got to the point where I was unhappy with lifestyle and lying. I was neglecting my responsibilities as a father and friend. My drug use impacted my work performance. I would call out and take off regularly. I would be sick before work and felt the need to use before I got to work. It was clear that drugs were getting the best of me and I wanted to stop but was unsure as to how. It was on November 10th that I WALKED PAST A NEEDLE ...   read more »

I started drinking at 5, stealing tastes from dad's beer glass. I was in kindergarten, and teachers treated me kindly. They said I had 'piano fingers' and taught me piano. Even though I practiced and played at school functions, I was still a little rebel, always in the principal's office. What you might call the 'normal' parts of life were always mixed up with my drinking. I loved playing baseball and going fishing, which got me out of the city; my buddies and I walked all over finding places to...   read more »

I was living a lifestyle of failing health, no money and long hours of hanging out. It wasn’t until March 26, 2010, that I made a turn towards recovery. It was on that day that I went to my social worker at Harlem United with bags packed and requested help. From there, I spent six days detoxifying from alcohol and crack cocaine. From detox, I spent another 28 days in rehab and returned to my social worker after maintaining 40 days clean and sober. It was then that I realized that after surre...   read more »

My turning point towards recovery was when I was denied take home methadone because of a dirty urine sample. MY URINE CONTAINED HEROIN IN IT, WHICH IN TURN PLACED ME IN JEOPARDY OF BEING DISCAHRGED FROM THE METHADONE CLINIC THAT I WAS A MEMBER OF FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS. To overcome my challenges I had to BE HONEST WITH MYSELF AND ASK FOR SUPPORT from my social worker at the methadone clinic. I was willing to SURRENDER TO ADDICTION AND BECAME RECEPTIVE TO A PLAN TO REMAIN SOBER. This include...   read more »

I was a girl very naive to the world of drugs. Drinking was apart of my family. Dad was a functional alcoholic as most of the people and family I had around me. I married young and had children 4 who I adored. I was your typical housewife and mother. I became a nurse when I was 30. At this time, is when my life as I knew it would never be the same. Being so isolated growing up was very trusting of people. I loved being a nurse. I loved helping people that I knew. It was at this point that I...   read more »

My name is Corrie and I am a truly blessed recovering addict for 16 years and 8 months. I came from a middle class backgound, raised in the church by hard working parents of 8 children. One by one, I watched my sisters move out and when I was barely 15 years old I left home to find out what I was missing. I fell prey to the traps of the street even before I picked up an addiction. I was a prosititute by the age of 16 and still trying to go to school. Eventually my negative associations lead to m...   read more »

My Story: The only thing that was left was the lights in the kitchen. I had no self-esteem and food, and the children did not get haircuts, play basketball or go to amusement parks. It was Thanksgiving 1988 and I had messed up the money for the turkey. No one could raise my children the way I could. I wanted a better life for my babies and I knew there was a better way. With the help of my family, I went to an outpatient facility. I owed myself the difference of making something out of myse...   read more »

My name is Lori-Ann and I am a recovered alcoholic and addict which seemed like an impossible task. My journey began at a young age of 14.I was adopted and raised as an only child. Loneliness was my constant companion. My father’s job kept him away from the home most of the time. My mother was a strict and very formal lady. I had everything that a child could want but happiness. When I was prescribed narcotic pain medication I immediately found that by taking a pill I felt pretty, was no longer...   read more »

I initially entered recovery 15 years ago, at age 24. By then, I was a daily user of cocaine, heroin and cannabis. I I went from being in gifted and talented programs in elementary school; attending a local community college in fourth grade to being homeless; sleeping in my vehicle and on peoples couches for months at a time. I chose recovery because I could no longer accept my own reality. I made a decision to stop existing the way I was - no matter what. I was so unhappy, death seemed like an ...   read more »

I am a gay Puerto Rican male living in the Bronx. I am proud to say I was in the very first graduating class from Center CARE Recovery. I have also been with their aftercare program from the very first meeting When I first came to Center CARE, I was unemployed and confronting legal issues. My addiction to cocaine and crystal meth had left me homeless, jobless,and friendless. I had the gift of desperation and Center CARE was my present. I worked hard at recovery and in addition to outpatien...   read more »

A dear friend ask me to write about my path to recovery- I am not that good at writing stories...but here goes... My name is Maureen and I am an addict of the hopeless variety. I am also a lesbian in recovery with 14 years clean and sober. My journey began 14 years ago when I entered my first meeting of AA. I sat quietly and scared to death in the back and heard a story that sounded familiar. The seed was planted and I went to another meeting. Within a week I had a sponsor and a homegroup. ...   read more »

The fall of 2007 was when it happened. I felt so bad for my mom, but it was the greatest time of my life. Let me explain why. At the time, my mom was 41 years old. She had weak bones. She had fallen and broke her right leg in 2 places, and a metal rod was placed in her leg. I wasn't sure how she was going to deal with not being able to drink while taking her pain medications for her leg. I honestly figured she would give up the pain medicine and just drown her pain in rum and soda. Surprisingly,...   read more »

My son Craig was addicted to drugs and alcohol for many years, probably since he was in junior high school. We lived in a suburb of Houston, Texas. After my son (barely) graduated from high school, he moved to NYC. With a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat, I watched as my son boarded the airplane to the big apple. At first I thought the geographic cure might work, but within a few months I realized he was back to using. When Craig came home for Thanksgiving, he looked terrib...   read more »

Hello, my name is Scott, and I grew up in a middle income home. I played little league and pop warner football and was on my way to join the Navy to persue a law enforcement degree after high school. But my life changed course when my dad was killed in a car accident. I was 18 at the time, and the night he died I was introduced to crack cocaine. I thought it would help with the stress from my father's death...but I was wrong. I liked the drug and it took me down so hard, that it sent me to count...   read more »

My name is Atif P., and I define my recovery process as one giant metaphor. In the grips of my addiction, I was like a worm, which crawled on his belly with all the other lowly creatures of the earth. A life of despair, dereliction and degradation. I was fully out of control and walked into treatment and self-help. This was my cocoon which embraced me and wrapped me up with hope, love and understanding. In turn, I became a Monarch Butterfly with 18 years of recovery who continues to rise above t...   read more »

My name is Michelle L. I am a 51 year old African American mother and grandmother as well as a high school dropout and an addict. Dropping out of school at the age of 17 was the worst thing I could have done. If I knew then what I know now... I thought dropping out was cool back then because of the people that I had met. Drugs were not an issue then, just the fast night life and looking “fly.” I did get a good job at the age of 20, working for the City. Couldn't believe I got it without a GED, b...   read more »

I started using as a young teen smoking pot. I did that every day until I found out about smoking crack. I stopped smoking pot, and that’s when my life really took a turn for the worst. I was in and out of jail and treatment. I lost everything that was dear to me. My kids were taken away from me and put into foster care—that was the worst day of my life. When I got out of prison in 1992, it was the last time I used. I went to treatment, attended parenting classes and worked very hard to get my l...   read more »

Dear Friend, I am taking this moment to share my story to show that recovery is possible even for an addict like me. By the time I reached the bottom of my addiction, I had been arrested several times, was told to leave my place of residence, and of course, I was unemployed. I was heading down a spiral path of dispair. My self-esteem and confidence was low, and I had done so many self destructive acts during my active addiction that I was plagued with devastating emotions of guilt and shame. ...   read more »

My name is Vinny, and I am a recovering alcoholic/heroin addict. I come from an alcoholic family and suffered many of the pains associated with growing up in alcoholism. I was filled with fear from a very young age--with good reason--and truly was a blameless victim of verbal, emotional and sexual abuse. The stage was set for me to grow into an alcoholic and drug addict. BUT, until I asked for help and accepted responsibility for my own disease and no one else’s, I would have remained a victim a...   read more »

From as early as I can remember, I looked at others as "shiny people," the ones that good stuff happened to, the ones that were lucky, and the ones I always felt inferior to when I was around. When I drank, I felt equal to them somehow. The fears, insecurities, and the misgivings all went away. Alcohol helped me feel complete...until it didn't. I was 15 years old when I had my first experience standing before a judge. My mom brought me to court to get some help with parenting me. It was call...   read more »

My name is Nicolette, and I did not just wake up one day and decide that I was an addict, I was born an addict. Ever since a very young age, I was portraying the behaviors of an addict. I was always the little girl at the parties or family functions taking sips of everyone else’s drinks. I drank to get drunk for the first time in 4th grade, but didn’t make it a weekend thing until I was in 6th grade. I drank but never smoked. A lot of my friends smoked weed but it just wasn’t my thing, until...   read more »

My story begins at that age of six. This is the time that my aunt began to cross boundaries with me that eventually led to sexual abuse (later I was sexually abused by a family friend). This occurred in a house that was filled with tension and violence. And even though my young mind could not process it at the time—love, sex, violence, secrets, fear, and anxiety were all intertwined, setting the course for a life of sexual addiction. I became a person that sexualized most relationships and in...   read more »

My name is Jamie, and I am a grateful recovering addict. I have learned that using is just a symptom of my disease; a disease that long ago, when I felt that something wasn’t quite right with me. There was a strong discomfort, a sense of not feeling right in my own skin. I felt that there was something wrong with me, that I didn’t belong anywhere. I can recall feeling like this as far back as three years old. I came from an upper middle class family and was an only child. I can remember feeling ...   read more »