My name is Al, and I am grateful to be in recovery. My story started in a war zone--my home in East Harlem. I was a scared little boy looking for a safe place to hide. At the age of nine, I found such a place, Alcohol. My father was called to school to pick me up because I was drunk in the fourth grade. I was beaten because he had to be called away from work, not because I was drinking alcohol. This was the beginning of a long period in which I drank, abused several substances and committed ...   read more »

Substance abuse started for me very young, at the age of 11. I was in 6th grade, fresh off to middle school. I was naïve, curious, and lonely. Some kids in my grade used alcohol, and I realized that by drinking, I would be automatically accepted by the people around me. My father passed away when I was very young, and this really affected me. I began feeling very different, and I would always try to fit in and morph into something that I wasn’t so other people would like me. I was a chamel...   read more »

The last 19 months have been on the most challenging road that I have ever taken. For many years, I fought with alcoholism. That was an admission that I relentlessly rebuked. Over the years, I have engaged everyone, thinking, "what do they know?" or "who were they to tell me what to do?" For me, just admitting that I was an alcoholic was hard, but worse yet, was admitting that I was powerless over it. The humiliation of admitting defeat was devastating. Early years of molestation, incest, and...   read more »

I started using drugs and alcohol when I was 11. The first time I drank, I blacked out and suffered from alcohol poisoning. This was just the start of a rapid progression of drug and alcohol abuse. I used only weed and alcohol until I was 13. I had moved from Geneseo to Pittsford, New York, a suburb of Rochester, and found pills to be "interesting." From then on I was trying cocaine, crack, LSD, mushrooms, ecstasy, DMT, DXM, opium, and any other drug I could get my hands on. I started to skip sc...   read more »

My name is Michael S., and I fully and finally accept the reality that I will forever have to live in recovery as an addict. As far back as I can remember, from my earliest childhood days, I always wanted and felt the need to be seen and accepted by others for more then I was. I wanted to have respect and acceptance by what seemed to be the “in crowd.” I hung out past my curfew, drank alcohol and smoked marijuana. Hanging out late in local house parties, ultimately led to my flunking out of high...   read more »

My story begins the day I arrived by Jeep to my infantry company in Vietnam. I was asked if I could donate blood for a fellow soldier who had been shot that day. I said, “yes,” and was told to wait in the Jeep while a telephone call was made. A few minutes later the soldier returned and thanked me for volunteering, but sadly commented that the wounded soldier had just died. All I knew about him was his nickname "Short Round." The soldier then pointed out the hooch (barrack) where I was assigned....   read more »

Jim’s history, his experience with substance dependence, the life his substance dependence led him to, and his ability to overcome these obstacles, makes him a role model for others in recovery. He grew up in Mount Vernon, N.Y., raised by a single mother who supported her children as a waitress. He left school in the eighth grade, a child with little support from adults, with only himself on which to rely. He used rebellion to deal with his anger, not realizing that he needed the structure and e...   read more »

Addiction started for me at a very early age. I can remember as far back as 5th grade—the first time I had even heard about drugs—and telling myself I wanted to try them all. My childhood was near perfect, no troubles at home, no abuse of any kind, but I never felt comfortable in my own skin and didn't like who I was. Drugs and self-mutilation became my ways of escaping the feelings of self-hatred. I started using marijuana, and self-mutilating by burning and cutting at age 13 and progressed...   read more »

My name is Gregory, and I am an addict grateful to be in recovery since May 23, 1995. I grew up in the South Bronx, Harlem, Coney Island, and East LA, and became a gang member, drug dealer and thief in all these neighborhoods where crime, drugs and poverty had a grip on many of my family and I. During the '60s and through the '90s, my Dad and Uncle sold drugs, and my mom eventually became addicted to heroin, crack and alcohol; she eventually died of AIDS-related complications. Since 11 y...   read more »

The moment of clarity came when my brother came to see me and I couldn't hide the fact that there were random people sleeping in my house. Somehow my son made it to school, and my baby was running around in a diaper. I said, "I am on drugs and I need help." From there, my life turned around. I voluntarily put my kids into foster care and went into a long-term drug treatment program. There I found out I was HIV positve and had Hepatis C. I also realized that I wanted my life back, and nothing...   read more »

My story is more about addictive behaviors than the drugs, but the drugs were there. Early in my life the behaviors were present. I hated everything about my life, not in content but in feeling. I loved my sisters but I wanted to be white; everybody outside of our family was white. We lived in an all-white neighborhood and went to an all-white school. I loved my parents, but my dad touched me and my mom wouldn't help. This is a simplified version of a very dysfunctional family. My first beha...   read more »

REBORN My name is David M. I am a recovering addict who has experienced an extraordinary transformation: from an addicted recidivist criminal to a qualified health professional who works with chemically dependent individuals with extensive criminal justice backgrounds. I’ve been reborn and introduced to a new way of life. The old me died on November 3, 1996, when NYSDOC became the power greater than me that did for me what I couldn’t do for myself. They took me away from the progression o...   read more »

I began using at age 15 after my father suddenly passed away. I didn't connect the two until years later. I was ripe for addiction all my life, I was lonely and sad. My father's dying was the last straw. I had a secret, I was a scared, fear-based little girl that found a way to make it all better. Drugs and I were on the roller coaster from 15 to 33 non stop. I began with pot, and then I would take whatever I could get my hands on. As time went on, I allowed myself to be beaten, raped and dispos...   read more »

Hello my name is Malik and I am an addict/criminal. I was the third child of five--the lightest child of the bunch and was always looking for ways to fit in. As a young child, I was betrayed by one of my siblings and sold into prostitution. Since that day I was never the same. I grew up with an identity crisis, sold drugs and ended up in prison for 14 years in New York, and had a long record of delinquency in New Jersey. While in prison, I was introduced into a 12-step program called NA. It was ...   read more »

Hello my name is Richard, and I would like to take this time to thank my neices and nephews for helping me through my drug problem. They all told that I could do it if I put my mind to it! They also told me that if I wanted my childern back, I would have to go get help. So I went and got the help that I needed, and finally got my life back. I can't ask for anymore than that. I am now attending AA meetings, and I am helping a friend who is going through the same thing that I went through. I go to...   read more »

My name is Carolyn, and I'm an addict and an alcoholic. To look at me, you would not know it, but I am. I'm the product of an active alcoholic father and a bipolar, manic depressive, pill-popping rage-aholic mother. I'm also the youngest of three children; so much so that I was basically raised as an only child. So, along with the genetic disposition to abuse everything, I had that sense of entitlement that most babies of the family have. In the interest of space, let me tell you that I alw...   read more »

My name Ronald, and I am a blessed recovering addict. I am here from Hattiesburg. My path to recovery started when my family showed a lot of tough love when I came here. I stayed with my family for one night, and the next day they put me in the city mission. At that point I was stuck. One day I decided to go with a couple guys from the mission to drink in a local park. Some ladies called the police, and the police asked me for my ID. I told them I was staying at the mission, and they let them kn...   read more »

I was born with alcohol in my system--given liquor in my bottle. At 15, I started drinking a lot, resulting in sleeping with who ever was there. I was married and had two kids with a man. As a result of drinking and drugging, I had another seven kids. I lost every one of them to my addiction. I would steal, lie, sleep on the streets, had no family no friends, and so on. I went through beatings, was almost killed twice, and raped. I had no respect, and was given none. I went to jail a few times, ...   read more »