I used drugs for most of my life and was always in and out of jail. Homeless and nowhere to go. I was sick and tired of being sick and did not know how to stay stopped. I enrolled in a methadone program, but I continued with my negative lifestyle and behaviors. I kept going to jail. I finally had enough of it. I started attending relapse prevention groups at the methadone program and learned that my behaviors and attitude needed to change if I wanted to be successful in my recovery. I did just...   read more »

The worst part of accepting the fact that I am an alcoholic was becoming entirely vulnerable to the emotional stress that accompanies recovery. The best part was the stillness that began to manifest in my life as the crashing waves of active alcoholism began to subside. The turning point was not the loss of my family, or my wife, not even my son, whom I love wholly and without equivocation. It was a series of points that culminated in a question from a counselor, "Let us assume for a moment...   read more »

I'm in the second stage of my recovery. I was in NY State prison for 25 years and was released on 4/21/2009. I was on "life parole" for 3 years. I was removed from parole which is called "discharged" from the Department and Division of Parole. Thus for the first time in almost 30 years, I am a free man. Thus while I was on parole, I had to stay clean from drugs because of a fear of being placed back into prison. Now I have no one looking over my shoulder in regards to my recovery. I have not...   read more »

Everyone must face his or her own shadow at some point. For years, I tried to escape mine using various means such as drugs, alcohol, food, and sex. I used these things in a futile attempt to avoid experiencing my emotions. Joseph Campbell once wrote: "It is only by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to be the source of what you were looking for." Five years ago, ...   read more »

My story is about how recovery means more to me than an impression, but a purpose for me to know what is valuable in my life. Most of that understanding comes with the experiences and the emotional ups and downs that have influenced me to see why my life means more than a 20 minute rush that costs me to lose more than I expected because I was denying the impact addiction has after the rush is over. The turning point in my life that convinced me to begin a life of recovery not only from the drugs...   read more »

This year is my sweet 16th. A better sweet 16 than the first time around...when I got drunk in front of my parents in Washington DC and called a grown man "Mr. President" as I danced on the table and had my aunt and uncle cart me away. One of the many gifts of longtime sobriety is self regulation which I learned from doing the stepwork. What I mean by this is that I used to not accountable for any of my behaviors. Now I am. The steps in order have led me to a place where I can be accountable ...   read more »

The beauty of this story is not how it started, but how it ends. Every person who has lived with addiction knows the ugly details and effects it has on a family, broken promises, mistrusts, violence, vulgarities, and embarrassments. Like many, our father was in and out of our life. Showing up out of the blue, disappearing just as fast. A gentle, loving man sober, a tyrant under the influence of alcohol. A fter not having any contact with him for over 10 years, we assumed he was homeless...   read more »

As You can see, I have checked all of the above pathways to Recovery. At one time I used one or another. I have been clean for 30 years and intend to stay clean for another 30 I the Lord wills it or I die. I abused every drug drink I ever came in contact, the only thing I wanted to do is die! But now all I want to do is Live! I have every thing that I need to live with today, a job, a small apartment, a car, friends and involvement in my community in the form of helping others with similar prob...   read more »

This story is about my daughter who passed away from the disease of alcoholism. I need help trying to figure out why did she have to die. She attempted suicide on December 24, 2010, and then spent some time in a mental health facility and was released. She died a day later. Nobody diagnosed her true probblem. . . alcoholism. Her children where in the home when she took an overdose of her anti-seizure medications & alcohol. She died after having a seizure and falling into the bathtub while f...   read more »

My life came to an expected crash in 2009. I spent my life fighting everyone and everything. I had alot, but I lost it all. I had to let go of it all, and I did. For everything I had, I had twice as much stress. I was the functional drunk. The only path I had left in the end was to let go. I had to put my pride aside, because that was what kept me drinking. I went from earning $55,000 a year to homelessness, living in a group home with no job, and nobody to share my life. They call it white knuc...   read more »